First times
by Jinxgirl
Summary: A series of stories about Buffy and Faith and their first times for various things. Not connected as in one continuous stories, but rather stories sharing one theme.
1. Chapter 1

Story 1

Buffy's POV

It was something so simple, so ordinary. It wasn't like it hadn't happened countless times before, like I hadn't _seen_ it countless times before and barely even noticed. Though now I can hardly believe I didn't'…

Faith and I were patrolling together in a Cleveland alley, and she'd make some cutting remark that got to me as only she can. I snapped back at her, and she just grinned; her dark brown eyes lit up in delighted amusement, and her dimples flashed, giving her the look of an impish little kid.

This little exchange was nothing new, nothing that should have shook my world, or made me stop in myt tracks and stare at Faith in wide-eyed, slack-jawed astonishment. But somehow it was, and it did… somehow, that time was completely and wholly different from every other time…

For that time was the first time I realized that I loved her.


	2. Chapter 2

Story two

Afterward Faith's mind was usually racing, frantic with confusion and instinctive panic at the closeness she and Buffy had just shared, spiritually as well as physically. Usually her body was swarming with an itchy, restless urge to move, to reclaim a space and distance she so desperately needed. Usually she was anxious, sweating, her heart hammering in her chest as she fought against her feelings, doing whatever it took to calm her fear… no matter how she would regret and hurt for it later. Afterward, Faith usually couldn't look Buffy in the eye, for she was afraid that Buffy would finally see the unworthiness that Faith had known was there all along.

But this time… this time Faith's limbs were loose, relaxed, and her body was buzzing with a pleasant rush, her heartbeat slow and steady. This time she leaned back into Buffy's arms, and it seemed to her that somehow, she finally felt like it might be okay- even right- for her to be there…

"Faith… aren't you going to…" Buffy whispered in her ear, and Faith could hear the hope even through her attempts at casualness.

Her heart squeezing at the sound of Buffy's voice, Faith slowly turned in her arms to face her, looking solemnly into Buffy's hazel eyes. As Buffy looked down at her, tender, slightly confused, Faith slowly began to smile.

"No.." she almost whispered, and her voice was full of the emotions she did not understand. "No, baby, I don't think so…"

As she met Buffy's willing lips with her own, she could see the startled yet delighted sparkle in the older slayer's eyes. Buffy pulled her even more closely against her, running a hand down Faith's bare back as she whispered into her neck, "I love you, Faith…"

As the two slayers continued to kiss and caress each other, Faith's heart swelled with a passionate warmth and joy she had never before been quite able to believe in, let alone experience. Was_ this_ what she had feared- was_ this_ what she had so often fled from?

For this was the first time, after she and Buffy had made love, that Faith had stayed over afterward…


	3. Chapter 3

Story three

The person on the other side of the glass was Buffy… not Angel, not Wes or Cordy, but Buffy. Faith couldn't quite trust what she was seeing, couldn't understand, and her eyes narrowed with confused wariness as her knuckles whitened from her intent gripping of the prison phone. Still, she could not deny the sudden sharp thrill that ran up her center as she drank in the sight of the blonde before her, the only person in her life that had never failed to turn Faith's heart inside out… and yet still leave her hoping desperately for Buffy's approval.

"B…" she breathed slowly, hesitantly, and the girl before he took in a deep breath, her narrow chest rising and falling sharply as she raised her eyes to meet Faith's. Faith felt her breath stop, cold and choking, somewhere in her throat, at the look in Buffy's eyes. There was a tint to them that she could never remember seeing aimed in her direction before, at least, not coming from the older slayer…a sentiment Faith had never dared to believe she would see, no matter how much she might wish to.

But then she was speaking, and her words were even more incredible than her expression. Try as she might, Faith could not make herself believe that she had also misinterpreted Buffy's words.

"Faith… Faith, I don't know how to do this, how to say it… I…I just know I have to. So, so I'm going to just say it…"

Buffy inhaled slowly, briefly lowering her eyes; when she looked back up at Faith, however, her face was set in nervous but determined lines.

"Faith… I just want you to know… that I forgive you. And… that I know you're sorry, I know that… and I'm, I'm sorry too…"

For several moments, Faith couldn't breathe, couldn't even think… as her heart fluttered erratically, it seemed to be rising in her throat, attempting to force its way up into her mouth. All the better, was her first coherent thought, it would be closer to B then, so she could take it and properly squeeze the shit out of it once and for all…

At first she didn't realize why Buffy was staring at her, her eyes wide, her mouth slightly open, even as her shoulders hunched in a pained, guilty manner Faith had seen from her countless times before, though never before directed towards her. She didn't understand why Buffy was looking at her like that, like she was worried, afraid… maybe even awed.

It wasn't until she heard the first sob, and realized with astonishment that it had emerged from her own throat.. it wasn't until she raised a shaking hand to her cheek and felt the dampness on her fingertips that she realized what was going on, just what had so stunned Buffy, what was beginning to moisten the other slayer's own eyes in involuntary reaction.

This was the first time Buffy had ever seen Faith cry.


	4. Chapter 4

Story 3: At ease

It was not the first time they had shared a bed together. It wasn't even the first time that Faith had felt these urges… but it _was_ the first time she thought she really might be in danger of giving into them.

She found herself glancing over at Buffy yet again; though in the darkness she could not see her very clearly, she had long ago memorized every shadowy detail of her silhouette. Buffy was turned away from her, curled up partly on her side, her blonde hair spread about her face and pillow. She was asleep; Faith could hear her slow, steady breaths, and her own breathing quickened in response, something stirring low down inside her. She could feel her heart beating rapidly, and she swallowed, pushing hard to suppress her wishes… her desires to do what she knew she never could, could scarcely dare to even think about.

No… she couldn't, she _wouldn't_ do what she was thinking so hard of doing. She never had before, and she wasn't about to start now. She could _not_ fuck this up…

Faith held herself very still, making herself look away from Buffy, to stare up at the ceiling. Of course, it wasn't working. She could still see Buffy out the corner of her eye. And even if she hadn't been able to, it wouldn't have mattered. She was so close to her, and Faith _knew_ how close she was, that all she would have to do was reach out a hand, slide over four inches, and she'd be touching her. Her slayer bond with Buffy was so intensified right now from their proximity and Faith's restlessness that it almost felt to her as if they already were touching.

Faith knew she was going to get no sleep tonight. She never did when she slept in the same bed with Buffy…

As always, her mind was circling around in the same argument that it always had before- the same argument Faith had always just barely managed to ignore. An argument that seemed very persuasive to her right now…

_Come on, Faith, what are you so worried about? B will never know until it's too late, and all you have to do is play it off like always. She'll never know… and so what if she wakes up? Just feed her bullshit like always. What's the big freakin' deal?_

But it _was_ a big deal, and Faith knew it. No way could she do it, no way could she cross that line… because who knows what might happen if she did? Who knows how much worse it might get?

No, she wouldn't do it- of course she wouldn't. She was stronger than that… she could deal, she could live, just like she always had before.

But no sooner had the thoughts crossed her mind then she was already moving, violating her every thought and intention from before. Faith's brain was flashing alarm signals, yelling at her to stop, but her body seemed deaf to her mind's logic…

She rolled herself over carefully, flinching at the slight noise her weight on the mattress had made and freezing for a few moments, her heart seizing. When Buffy didn't react, she relaxed marginally. Cautiously, Faith scooted herself even closer to Buffy, curling herself around her with excruciating care and slowness, until she was pressed up into Buffy's back and legs.

Warm, shivery feelings were shooting up and down Faith's body, and the stirring in her stomach intensified, spreading lower… and wanted to squirm, to pull Buffy's ass tighter against her crotch, and without further thought she found herself doing so, pressing into her more firmly, her arms tightening around her. Pleasure rolled through her at the feel of her body so close to Buffy's, closer than it had ever been before, and Faith almost moaned out loud as she closed her eyes…

"Faith?"

Faith froze, growing rigid with shock and horror at the sound of Buffy's groggy voice. Her eyes snapped open, and for a moment she forgot to breathe. All pleasure disappeared as panic stabbed at her insides.

Oh no, oh shit, oh shit… now what, what was she going to do, what was she going to do?! Say something, quick!

She started to pull away hurriedly… but Buffy's hands were grabbing her arms, holding them in place, keeping them pressed into her chest and torso.

"No… stay…" the blonde slayer whispered sleepily, but Faith could tell she was not sleeping… Buffy was awake, and she seemed to know exactly what it was she was asking. "It's okay, Faith… stay…"

Faith could barely trust her own ears to believe what she was hearing… but yes, Buffy was snuggling eve more closely against her, pulling Faith's arms tight around her… and yet again, she was telling her to stay. Faith didn't understand, couldn't believe what was happening… but hell if she was going to protest.

She pulled Buffy even tighter against her, and from Buffy's soft cry, she could tell that, amazingly, the older slayer was feeling something close to what she was… something like comfort and desire all at once. Something like triumph- something like joy…

It wasn't until her eyes were closed and she was nearly asleep that Faith realized… this was the first time she'd ever felt at ease in Buffy's bed.


	5. Chapter 5

Story 5: A Capello

Buffy stifled a yawn, keeping her eyes closed as she stretched across her bed, slowly becoming more alert as she dragged herself out of her sleep. It took her a few seconds to realize that her limbs were flattening against nothing but tossed aside blankets and sheets- Faith was no longer lying next to her. How she'd managed to untangle herself from the grip Buffy had had on her when they had fallen asleep together, without waking her, Buffy had no idea. Very carefully, she supposed…

She could hear water running in the bathroom and knew Faith must be taking a shower. Buffy smiled as she lay there, picturing the scene in the next room in her mind. It was a nice image to think of- especially to wake up to…

She lay there, idle, relaxed, enjoying the lazy comfort of the bed and her mental envisions… and that was when she heard it. It was low at first, hesitant, but as Buffy took notice of it, it grew a little louder, stronger. As husky as it was it pitch, and as indistinct through the sounds of the shower, Buffy could nevertheless immediately recognize that it was beautiful, extraordinary.

Singing, it was singing… Faith was singing…

Buffy sat up abruptly, her eyes widening with her astonishment; every remaining vestige of grogginess was gone as she listened with intense concentration to Faith's quiet singing. For this was the first time she had ever heard her do so… she had never before heard Faith sing, even just while messing around. At every opportunity to do so, Faith had always refused, trying to act blasé or sarcastic to throw off what Buffy had known to be embarrassment and self-consciousness. She usually made some crack about her voice being as deadly as her fists, or about Buffy's eardrums being sorry if they were exposed to it for any length of time, but all jokes aside, Faith was deadly serious about no one, even Buffy- or maybe especially Buffy- ever hearing her sing. Nothing had ever made her back down, and Buffy had rarely pushed it since Faith was so sensitive and resistant to it.

And yet here she was… singing…

Buffy had always known that she would love Faith's singing voice no matter what it sounded like; simply because it was a part of her, she had known she would find it endearing, no matter how grating or off-

key. But never had she imagined that the voice Faith had so studiously refrained from sharing with anyone would be so gorgeous…

She listened to her, a gentle , slightly dreamy smile turned up her lips, almost in a daze at the sound of her lover's just barely audible singing voice. For several moments she forgot how to move, even how to breathe… and then quite suddenly, without thinking or planning it, Buffy found herself standing, heading to the bathroom door. She was following Faith's voice almost like a siren song… though she wasn't quite helpless to resist it, she wasn't exactly trying to fight it either.

Damn, if she knew what she could get me to agree to by singing to me, she might get over her singing shyness really fast… Buffy thought in amusement as she quietly opened the bathroom door, sidling inside the room. She could see Faith through the clear shower door; her back was to Buffy, and she was so concentrated, distracted by her low singing and the foamy lather she was rinsing out of her hair that she had not noticed her enter. For a moment Buffy was distracted even from Faith's singing as she grinned, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the water and lather sliding down Faith's naked curves.

"Morning, baby," she greeted her, and her voice was husky, thick with suggestiveness and appreciation.

As she'd expected, Faith jumped, her loud gasp cutting off her singing rather abruptly. Buffy knew it wasn't because she was looking at her in the shower that she had freaked- like she hadn't seen and joined her countless times before- but rather her realization that Buffy had heard her singing.

"Dammit, B, fuckin' _knock_, why dontcha?!" she sputtered, hurriedly trying to cover with put-on anger as she turned to face her, giving her a fierce glare that, because of her embarrassment, was not quite as fearsome as she'd intended.

Buffy grinned slyly. "Never bothered you before, Fai… you mean you don't want me to join you?"

Faith tried to keep glaring at her, but Buffy saw the sudden gleam in her eyes, the way she swallowed quickly as she forced herself not to blurt out her usual instinctively sexually suggestive reply, and knew that was definitely not the case. She was trying to keep her wounded pride intact- and in her own eyes, at least, failing miserably. Well, Buffy wasn't going to let her get away with that… she'd bring her around in her own, always popular way.

"I thought so," she said when Faith didn't come up with an answer that would satisfy herself.

Her smile widening, Buffy slowly slipped out of her panties, the only clothing she had been wearing in bed, aware of Faith's eyes on her and knowing she'd instantly been diverted from her humiliation at Buffy's having heard her sing. Opening the shower door, Buffy slipped inside with her, wrapping her arms around Faith from behind and pulling her tight against her as she rested her chin on Faith's shoulder briefly. She felt the familiar thrilling tingle run over her at the physical contact with Faith and shivered slightly, her flesh almost sparking at the sensation of it. She found herself marveling at how enjoyable it was to Faith close to her, to feel the water running over them as she pressed herself into her, loving the feel of her warm, smooth wet skin.

She heard Faith's breath catch sharply, and Buffy stroked one hand up from her stomach slowly, bringing it to rest over her heart. She felt its beating quicken in response and smiled, pushing Faith's hair aside to kiss her neck. Apparently unable to stay still in Buffy's arms any longer, let alone remember to stay angry or upset about Buffy hearing her, Faith turned in her arms, beginning to return her kisses eagerly and with interest. For a couple of minutes Buffy let her, moaning softly as Faith's hand ran over her back and her butt, her stomach and breasts, as she nuzzled and sucked her way up Buffy's neck, then parted her lips with her own, kissing her deeply. Buffy kissed her back, one hand entwined in Faith's hair, the other stroking its way down her, from face to shoulder to back, all the way down to her butt.

Finally Buffy pulled away a little, giving them a chance to catch their breath. She rested her forehead briefly against Faith's as they continued holding each other, more loosely and affectionately than passionately now. She smiled down at her even though in their position it made them both cross-eyed.

"Still want me to leave, baby?" she whispered playfully, and Faith scowled at her, though Buffy knew she wasn't really mad.

"Smartass," she replied, giving the blonde an especially hard pinch in the aforementioned area. Buffy gave an obligatory yelp, flinching, but the indignant glower she gave the younger slayer was marred by her twitching lips.

"Bitch!"

"Nope, that's your role, B. I'm the slut, remember?" Faith said easily, and Buffy had to laugh, even though she knew both of them had at one point not found the verbal jabbing so funny. But that was in the past… things were different now, and so much better than Buffy had ever hoped for. She was happy now, and so was Faith, something they'd never thought they could have. What's more, she was happy _with_ Faith… and that _was_ truly amazing.

Buffy leaned in to give Faith a brief but tender kiss; her eyes were soft when she pulled away from her slightly, and she put up a hand to touch her cheek.

"You have a beautiful voice, sweetie," she said sincerely, softly, looking Faith in the eye. "I don't know why you don't want anyone to hear it."

She could feel Faith stiffen at her words, her easy smile fading, and she quickly dropped her eyes, even as Buffy kept firm hold of her chin.

"Right," Faith said roughly, laughing a little, but the sound was obviously forced. "I sound like a fuckin' frog, B."

Buffy frowned, trying to meet Faith's eyes as she tried, even with Buffy's hand on her face, to avoid them. Still, she caught a glimpse of them and knew immediately the darkness that was at their surface.

"Where would you get that idea?" she asked her quietly, stroking the base of Faith's spine with her thumb and feeling her loosen up slightly at her light touch. "It's not true at all. Who told you that, Faith?"

Faith did not answer, did not raise her eyes to Buffy's… but she didn't need to. Buffy already knew. For nothing but thoughts of her mother ever gave her quite the same shadowed, almost haunted look, made her posture lose nearly every bit of its usual self-assurance.

Understanding this, feeling her heart squeeze as her chest swelled with sadness for her, Buffy pulled Faith against her again, holding her closely, but more gently than before, stroking a hand slowly up and down her arm. Faith leaned into her, laying her head against Buffy's chest, though this was a bit awkward since she was a couple of inches taller. For a few minutes they were quiet as Buffy held her, giving Faith her wordless caring, and Faith allowed her to, for once not protesting against it.

After a few minutes Buffy ran a hand through Faith's hair, kissing her shoulder.

"I love your voice, baby," she repeated softly. "I wish you'd sing for me sometime."

Faith sighed, long, slightly shuddery, and when she spoke her voice was quiet, almost weak.

"I… I can't, B. I don't think I can. Sorry…"

Buffy hugged her briefly, kissing Faith's neck, feeling her heart jump as Faith's pulse spiked in response.

"Well," she said slowly, clasping her arms around Faith's waist, "if you only won't sing, that's okay, sweetie… I'll sing for the both of us then."

And she did; embracing Faith from behind, she rested her chin on her shoulder again, singing softly into her ear. She knew that her voice wasn't the greatest; it was thin, often on the verge of going off key, but still it seemed to relax Faith. Buffy could feel her body slowly loosening, leaning back into her heavily, even as Faiths' heart beat faster with her increasing sexual excitement. As Buffy held Faith against her under the shower's flow, singing to her, she wouldn't have thought it possible that she could feel any greater amount or intensity of love for her.

That is, until a few minutes later.. . when she heard Faith hesitantly begin to join in, her low alto voice adding harmony to Buffy's shaky soprano…


End file.
